Basically I’m twenty-one years old. I live in Vancouver, Canada and one day hope to make it into graphic design or become involved in the fashion or music industry.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
well i guess a lot has been going on. so i haven't really had much time to post. i mean i guess i probably could have found five minutes to write something since may but i just feel like i keep making up excuses. the most recent thing that's happened is the fact that i found out that i'm losing my job. yup, it's not like i got fired or anything like that, oh hell no. it's just that the company i work for is actually closing down. obviously i was amazingly upset about this whole thing. as horribly lame as it sounds i cried my eyes out for a while. i mean i know i've only worked there for a year and what not but the fact that i've actually lost my job sucks. and it wasn't so much the job that i'm going to miss. it's the people. i love absolutely everyone i worked with, it was just such an amazing place to work and we all became like a little family. we'd joke around all the time and goof off. and now it just feels like nothing will ever compare to that place. i guess it shouldn't really have come as a shock to any of us. considering half the time we were dead. but still we all expected another year or so out of it. and just having that extra year for me would have been good. but instead i've got to go out and find another job.the worst part of all of this is the fact that i found out about two weeks ago and about two days after i found out that we were closing everything went to hell, you see there were huge closing signs and everything. i would see these damn signs everywhere and it was like they were just there to mock me, and remind me that in a couple months i wont be returning to this building every single day. it was one of those jobs where i was actually happy to go to work because i really truly loved my job. sure it wasn't exactly glamorous, being in retail and all but still. it was the people that kept me there. it paid minimum wage which sucked but the managers were amazing and everyone i worked with was the best. i've never met such amazing people before. people who i truly felt comfortable around and could be myself around.
i know this sounds all sad and horrible and like i'm this whiny little baby. but i just fucking hate it. i've met some really awesome friends there and i don't want to accept that it's really going to be gone and we are all going to go our separate ways. sure we all say we will stay in contact, but we all know that never really happens. i mean look at high school. after that i've only kept in contact with a very minimal amount of people. but that might just have been because to be quite honest i never really felt a proper connection with my friends at high school. they were kind of just a bunch of people who i could hang out with at lunch and during class. but none of them really shared all that much in common with me. but the people i met at work, well i can actually see myself wanting to hang out with them after work and such. we've often had our own little gatherings outside of work and i've had a blast with them.
now i've got to start looking for a job, but that is the absolute worst thing. i don't know a single person who actually likes going out and applying for a job. i mean who really likes going around and going to interviews and trying to sell yourself to someone only to be rejected afterward because they aren't quite what you are looking for? i mean how can you really find out if someone would be a good match with the company by asking them the stupid questions that you get. "what is your biggest accomplishment" "what sorts of activities are you involved with outside of school/work" or whatever. i mean really? it's like you have to bullshit your way through all of those questions anyways. and plus you could have the best selling skills in the world and be able to make yourself seem awesome but in all actuality you are a useless piece of shit. i've never been that good at speaking about myself, i feel weird trying to tell people how great i am and why they should even give a shit about me right? but it just sucks because i know i will never be able to get a job with the same kind of people. every one of my managers was amazing, they were like your friends. but you still respected them one hundred percent. and the days went by amazingly fast because you actually enjoyed what you were doing and you weren't just doing the same repetitive action every single day and being bored out of your fucking mind.
now that there is the whole 'closing out sale' going on i fucking hate dealing with customers. all they keep saying is 'why aren't the deals very good?' it's like fuck you. or they ask 'so what is happening to the people that are working here' well shit you don't really give a fuck now do you? because if you did maybe you would have shopped here a little more often. oh and some of the best 'are you really closing?' YES! do you not see the fucking thousands of signs all over the place that are fricken huge? seriously. no it's april fools day and we are just fucking with you! like shit... really are people that stupid? or sometimes you get 'oh this sucks. this was my favorite store. now i have to go somewhere else' well oh no! how horrible, guess what we are all getting laid off! wonderful isn't it? i think my problem outweighs yours! dumb asses.
the whole staff is obviously very upset about it, a couple people worked with the company for years and they became close obviously as well. and now it's all over. and the best part of it? the fact that the corporate assholes decided to shut us down so that they could take the money and bring it into the states. so essentially it's that whole oh fuck you canada, nobody gives a shit about you because the american's are struggling so we'll just fuck you all over. ok, thanks. it just pisses me off. anyways that's about all i have to say right now. /end of rant =P